sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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