dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
