His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
