Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
