sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
