How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
