Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
