I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
