He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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