While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
