We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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