he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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