College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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