maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
