I'm pants shitting drunk right now
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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