The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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