I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
