And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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