we're blogging at a bar
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
