Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
