the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
