We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
