I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
