I take back everything I said about communal showers
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
