Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
