it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
