We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
