Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize