i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
