You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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