Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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