i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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