We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
