Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
