apparently the secret to your success is patron
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
