I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i've created a new STD.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
