you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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