You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This is classic penis vs brain.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize