what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
