hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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