So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
