i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
