I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
