so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wish you could order shots online.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
