i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
