My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
