after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
