nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i believe in u and ur pee
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
