it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
