i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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