I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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