About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
