This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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