Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
