Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
