she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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