Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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