is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
