my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
