I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
