did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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