Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You pole danced in your parka.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
