I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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