You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
In America we eat man semen.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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