So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
