I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
