i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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