I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
