How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
we're so committed to being not committed
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
