so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
