____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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