In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
